Call It Sorrow

A few days ago, numbness followed good moods and flattery. Today or maybe 'yesterday', numbness felt more real, and strecthes all over me. I couldn't feel. I just hope I did not exist. I hope I do not exist. I never existed in many levels anyway. This is not sorrow. Sorrow does not even come close to this. Just so this feeling will give an idea close to recognizable human feelings, you can call it sorrow.

Saving My Weekend

Since this weekend pans out to be mundane and dull due to the consequences of what happened to me (more of what happened to Aurya, my car), I dragged myself to MOA and tried to make a better weekend out of it. Mainly, I was just suppose to peak into the tourism expo in SMX and see if I can salvage good travel deals there. Well, aside from the affordable voucher I bought from Mind Museum’s booth(for my nephew),  I actually got out of the expo with not much but flyers, few discount stubs (which I think wouldn’t matter much), and a whole lot of realizations. Haha. I ended up watching a movie and killing time in a coffee shop while I write this post instead. This walk wouldn’t have achieved the goal of making it a better weekend if not for the realizations, really.

The first thing I realized earlier today is that I should have came earlier, or maybe I should have came on the first day of the expo and early. I should put more effort into things I desire. I got there late this  afternoon, on the second day of it, by the way – the time when its leaning on a period when you hardly could get good deals anymore, and rates are snapping back to their normal prices. The thing that killed me the most was that the ad that enticed me to go there in the first place are dead gone. Not even a chance of getting it anymore, actually.

I wanted to book a promo for roundtrip flights to Batanes. All that was left were ‘sold out’ notes and notices that only those who were punctual and provident enough to line up on the opening day(first few hours, even) of the expo can only have low rate fares to paradise. Well, it did not actually exactly say that. But that was what I felt it meant though. I really dig a Batanes escapade, constantly spotting for a more judicial fare price this whole time, but what I thought could have been my way to fly this year to my dream destination, and a chance to cross out one away from my year’s bucket list, are now all gone.

Another realization today is my heart’s desire to travel.

 I have always been excited about ideas to travel more. Well, I couldn’t exactly point what stalled me from doing it before but that desire just grow even more as I keep myself from gratifying myself of it. Felt more like the itch of delayed gratification. Seeing different travel destinations there that I have always wanted to go just adds coal into the fire. I know I can  go to these places. I can but I have not.

Well, maybe I just have to arrange time for it from my not-so-tight schedule and save a few penny for funds, and I should be good to go. I should also keep reminding myself that this is something I want to do, and distractions should not keep me away from it this time. I mean, in this time of my life, I should have been to at least half of all those places already. Whew. And the catch of it, the places I want to go keeps on piling up fast with me cutting down that pile bit by bit at an even slower pace. So, much like embarking on my journey to go back to writing, I should turn things around and start somewhere. Maybe traveling to ‘nearer’ places, as soon as I get Aurya back, can be a good start.

Another realization today is my heart’s desire to travel. I have always been excited about ideas to travel more. Well, I didn’t actually know what stalled me from doing it before but that desire just grow even more as I keep myself from gratifying myself of it. Felt more like the itch of delayed gratification. Seeing different travel destinations there that I have always wanted to go just adds coal into the fire. I know I can  go to these places. I can but I have not. Well, maybe I just have to arrange time for it from my not-so-tight schedule and save a few penny for funds, and I should be good to go. I should also keep reminding myself that this is something I want to do, and distractions should not keep me from it this time. I mean, in this time of my life, I should have been to at least half of all those places already. Whew. And the catch of it, the places I want to go keeps on piling up fast with me cutting down that pile bit by bit even slower. So much like embarking on my journey to go back to writing, I should turn things around and start somewhere. Maybe traveling to nearer places, as soon as I get Aurya back, can be a good start.

Slacking Off

I just realized now, that I have just been peeking on this blog, and always procastinating on updating it. What the heck?! Last post was six freaking years ago! Haha
Goodjob slacking off ejca

Rusty (and Lame) Writing

I have tried to keep up this blog. I find lots of interest to put up some more sensible contents to it, but for some reasons, I just could not. I couldn’t blame anyone but my sheer lame self on this. My writer side (assuming that there is) keeps on pushing me to it, and I hope he gets to have the upper hand of that struggle.

Okay. I know this is bad writing. Not even enough to have this posted. Not even a hint of literary sense on this one, but I guess I have to start somewhere, so I might as well start typing set of letters, which will form words, that will make sentences. Haha

Here’s to looking forward to having shame on myself for this piece. And here’s to waking myself up and start writing something better. Cheers!!!

The Marching Drum

Legs of wood waves, waves of wooden legs
Waves of wooden legs
Legs of wood waves, waves of wooden legs
Waves of wooden legs
Legs of wood waves, waves of wooden legs
Waves of wooden legs
Legs of wood waves, waves of wooden legs
Waves of wooden legs

Oooooh

So close